Welcome to The Branding Room Only Podcast where we share career stories, strategies, and lessons learned on how industry leaders and influencers have built their personal brands. Now, let's get started with the show.
Hi everyone and welcome back to Branding Room Only. I'm your host, Paula Edgar. Today's episode is different, it's personal. I'm thinking of it as a love letter and a reflection because it's about mothers and mothering.
I want to acknowledge that relationships with mothers and mother figures can be complicated. I know that Mother's Day can bring up a range of emotions, and if that's true for you, I hope that this reflection can offer you some peace and some inspiration.
So in honor of Mother's Day, I want to tell you about my mother, Joan Donna Griffith, or "Mommy" to me. She was a woman who was small in stature at five feet, but enormous in her impact. She is the foundation of so much of my leadership, my parenting, my personal brand, and my general sense of self.
And because legacy doesn't move backwards—it moves forward—I'll also share lessons I hope to pass on to my daughter, TJ.
When I think about my mother, one word rises above all others: loving. She didn’t just say she loved you, she showed it every day in everything she did. Whether it was the food she made, the way she remembered small details about someone’s life, or the way she consistently showed up for those around her, love was always a foundation.
With that love came wisdom. There were a couple of things she would say to me that live with me to this day. So if you’ve ever heard me speak about personal branding at a workshop or keynote, you probably have heard me quote her because she used to say to me, "Paula, you can be the wind or you can be the leaf."
And I try to embody this and reflect on this every day. You can move the world with intention, or you can be moved by it without control. That's personal branding at its core. You are not just a product of your circumstances, you are the creator of your narrative.
When I think about intention, I think about this quote often.
Another thing she said to me was, when life got hard—whatever it was—she would say, "Buck up, buttercup." But it wasn’t dismissive. It was loving. It was her way of saying, "Feel your feelings. Yes, this might be hard. But remember you are stronger than you think, and keep moving."
One of my most fond memories that I have of my mother happened before I went off to Deerfield Academy in Massachusetts for high school. I was a Brooklyn girl about to step into a very, very different world in many ways.
One of the requirements we had at Deerfield was that we needed to wear class dress, a blazer, skirt, or slacks, and dress shoes. I didn’t have dress shoes. I just had sneakers when I was in Brooklyn. So my mother bought me Penny Loafers.
She explained to me that traditionally, people placed pennies in their shoes, hence the name Penny Loafers. But my mother decided she was going to place dimes in my shoes. By doing that, she showed me: "You're worth more. Walk like it. Be like it. Know it."
That small act embedded itself into everything I teach about presence and branding today.
But my mother’s lessons weren’t just about individual worth. They were about collective care. Mommy loved our family, and she loved people. Our home was often filled with children and friends who needed a safe space to land. She created belonging before "belonging" was a corporate buzzword.
She taught me that real leadership and real impact are about radical empathy, consistency, and above all, service. As you can tell, her lessons live in me every day.
Another story I remember was when she taught me how to sew. The lesson was for me to hem a pillowcase. I did it, sewed around it. But when I finished, my mother pulled it apart. She told me to do it again properly.
I was a bit frustrated with this because I had done what she asked me to do. But when I did it again, I did it slower, more precise, and with intention.
I remember she smiled and said, after I showed it to her again, "See how much better it is when you do it with care and intention."
Care. Intention. Excellence.
That’s how I aim to move through the world every day, and that’s how I teach others to move through the world with their brands. My mother taught me to value excellence, to nurture relationships, to lead thoughtfully, and to love deeply.
So I think if she were here today and introduced me, I hope she would say, "This is my daughter Paula. I'm proud of her. She strives every day to make the world a better place. She refuses to be limited by others' expectations. She pursues her purpose with intention and pride just like I taught her."
Every day I try to be someone she would be proud to introduce.
If I could tell her something today, I would say this to her: "Mommy, I miss you. I miss you in everything I do, with family, with my friendships, as a mother, and even in my business. I try to live the lessons you gave me, and I hope I'm honoring you in all the ways that matter most."
I think my mother's legacy can be summed up in many ways, but to be simple, just be Donna. Small in stature, but enormous in impact. She didn't need to be loud to be powerful. Her impact lives on because of how she loved, how she led, and how she showed up.
Because legacy doesn't stop with me, I want to speak directly to my daughter, TJ.
TJ, these are some of the lessons I want you to know. I want you to use your voice. Take up space and never let anyone silence you. I want you to advocate for yourself, whether it's about a wrong food order, an unfair grade, or even speaking up to me and your father. Your voice matters.
I want you to know that you never have to settle, especially not in relationships. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who does not honor your worth.
I want you to know that you deserve to be loved well, and you have a model of love and commitment and partnership to aspire to. Your father and I have been very deliberate about you seeing a loving relationship, and that's something my parents also gave to me.
I want you to understand that feedback is a gift. We may not always like it, but it helps you grow, and sometimes it shows you when a space or person is not for you.
I want you to give back. "To whom much is given, much is required," and you have been given much. But never give to your detriment.
TJ, I want you to travel the world. I want you to see beyond America's borders. I want you to know the depth and diversity of cultures outside of our own. We have been deliberate about making sure that has happened with us, but I want you to continue to do so.
I want you to know, TJ, that boundaries are necessary, and that asking for help and delegating are not signs of weakness but of wisdom. You deserve to rest, and you should. It is a part of your leadership and success strategy.
I want you to nurture a growth mindset. Always be learning. Always be becoming. I want you to maintain your individuality. Even if you decide to become a mother, a spouse, or both, your passions, your friends, and your dreams matter outside of just those roles. You are a person, remember that.
I have been deliberate about trying to show you and your brother that as well. You come to every relationship as a solo, whole, complete person, and then you hopefully complement each other and grow together.
Speaking of that, I want you to prioritize your relationship with yourself, in your mind, your body, and spirit. Love yourself first and best.
Most importantly, TJ, I want you to know that you are deeply, fiercely, and endlessly loved.
You are one of the greatest things I've ever created. I'm proud of you now, and I'm excited for who you are becoming.
Everybody, personal branding isn't just about strategy or visibility. It's also about love and how we engage with each other. It's about leadership, and it's about living a life that leaves ripples long after you're gone.
Thank you for spending this time with me today, and thank you for indulging the emotion. But I thought this was important for me to share, both the lessons that I've learned and the lessons that I want to pass on.
So honor the people who shaped you, reflect on the lessons that you carry, and always remember, the legacy you live matters.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, the mother figures, and to everyone carrying a mother's love forward.
Until then, I'm Paula Edgar, and I'll see you next time in the Branding Room.
