What Ten Years of Guiding Reflection and Goal-Setting With Others Has Taught Me

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Description

Reflection gets skipped over in a culture that rewards speed, productivity, and visible wins. Most people want to jump straight to the next goal list without pausing to tell the truth about what they actually lived through. But reflection isn't some soft year-end ritual. It's a leadership skill and a requirement for building a strong personal brand.

We live in a culture that often rewards movement, not meaning. Speed, productivity, and visible wins are celebrated, while reflection is frequently skipped. But reflection isn’t a soft reset or a year-end ritual—it’s a leadership skill and a critical foundation for building a personal brand that lasts.

In this solo episode of Branding Room Only, Paula reflects on more than a decade of guiding intention and goal-setting work. She explores why moving faster isn’t the same as moving intentionally, how clarity comes from honesty, and why alignment—not busyness—is what actually sustains growth. The episode surfaces the reflection questions that lead to real breakthroughs and the themes that show up year after year: rest as strategy, asking for help, letting go, and redefining success on your own terms.

Chapters

0:35 – Why reflection changes the quality of every decision that follows

2:04 – Examples of how the power of intention quietly shapes alignment

4:39 – How words of the year serve as a clarifying anchor

6:31 – How vision boards are often misunderstood

8:54 – What happens when rest is treated as a requirement, not a reward

10:06 – Why doing everything alone isn’t a strength

10:57 – The freedom of letting go of tolerations that no longer fit

11:57 – How reflection dismantles comparison without diminishing ambition

12:48 – Reflective questions asked in these yearly sessions

14:31 – What results can look like after going through this reflection

16:01 – Why naming what matters to you protects your brand from autopilot

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This episode is brought to you by PGE Consulting Group LLC.

PGE Consulting Group LLC empowers individuals and organizations to lead with purpose, presence, and impact. Specializing in leadership development and personal branding, we offer keynotes, custom programming, consulting, and strategic advising—all designed to elevate influence and performance at every level.

Founded and led by Paula Edgar, our work centers on practical strategies that enhance professional development, strengthen workplace culture, and drive meaningful, measurable change.

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Transcript

Welcome to Branding Room Only, the podcast where your personal brand gets a front-row seat. I'm Paula Edgar, and if you're here, it's because you know your brand isn't just about what you do. It's about how people experience you. In each episode, you'll hear stories, strategies, and lessons from leaders and influencers who built their brands and made their mark. And I'll share the tools you need to do the same. Let's go. Hi, everybody. It’s Paula Edgar, and welcome back to Branding Room Only. I want to talk to you about something that’s deeply personal to me, which is this. For over a decade now, I have been guiding people through intention and goal-setting exercises. I want to begin there because that matters. The work didn’t start as a product. It didn’t start as a program, and it didn’t start because January rolled around and I felt like I could offer something. It started because I needed it. I needed a moment every year to pause, to take stock, to tell the truth about what I had just lived through, and to decide intentionally how I wanted to move forward. Over time, what began as something personal became something very much communal and community-based because people kept showing up. They kept showing up not just with notebooks and goals, but with real lives, with grief, with hope, with ambition, with exhaustion, with questions they hadn’t had the space to ask anywhere else. So as we enter into this new year, this reflection feels especially important to me. Not because the calendar flipped, but also because the calendar flipped, but because reflection is how we make meaning out of motion. Without it, we just keep moving. With it, we choose how we move. Like my mother always said, if we’re going to be the wind, are we going to be the leaf? Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing extraordinary things through this process. Extraordinary. There’s so much magic. I have seen people get jobs they didn’t think were possible. I’ve seen people leave jobs they had outgrown but were afraid to walk away from. I’ve watched people get promoted, pivot careers, and finally ask for what they deserved. I’ve seen babies born. I’ve seen people get married. I’ve seen people leave relationships they needed to leave because they were no longer healthy. I’ve seen people grieve deeply and still choose hope. I’ve seen people write books, launch businesses, go back to school, sit on boards, pass the bar, step into leadership, and redefine success on their own terms. It’s such a powerful thing. Because what is important about this and the energy we bring together is that it’s not just the outcome, it is also the process. That’s why the shift from goal setting to intention happened. Because I realized that the process is important. None of those things happens by accident. Once we shift ourselves toward “this is what we want to do,” something changes. All of these things happen because people slow down long enough to reflect, to name what mattered, to identify what they needed to release, and to decide very much and often courageously how they wanted to show up next. That’s the power of intention. When I first started doing this work, I thought the most important thing was goal setting, right? Like I said, “What do you want to accomplish this year? What do you want to achieve? What do you want to check off?” Because that’s what we’re taught to focus on. New Year’s resolutions. What are our goals, results, metrics, outcomes? Wins that can be explained quickly and posted easily. But year after year, what I realized is that the real shift doesn’t happen just when people meet their goals. Of course, we love goal setting. But it happens when they reflect on the year they lived, on the intentions that they set. It’s when someone pauses and says, “I didn’t recognize how much this year changed me.” Or when somebody says, “I was successful, but I’m also deeply tired.” Or when they say out loud, “I stayed longer than I should have because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do.” Reflection creates honesty. Honesty creates clarity. Clarity is a foundation of growth and of a strong personal brand. So one of the ways that I guide people into that clarity is through choosing a word of the year. Because I am a facilitator and a teacher, I do it myself. So this is not a resolution. It’s not a list of promises. It is a word. It’s something to guide us through the year. It becomes an anchor. It becomes a language that we use when things feel messy. It’s something that we reset ourselves to. It becomes that filter of saying yes and no when things become overwhelming. What are those words? My word this year was, or last year was, move. I’ve chosen words like engage, advance, connect, joy, move. For this year, it will be ask. But this year, I have six words of the year. So I want you to go back and watch the recording of my intention and goal-setting session so you can hear why. But for me, it’s like a manifesto. It’s like a commitment. Each word reflects not just what someone wants to do, but how they want to move through their life. So when somebody chooses a word like joy, it’s not just because they feel like their year is going to be easy. It’s them saying they’re not going to postpone their joy until every lesson is learned and every box is checked. They’re going to strive for joy. When someone like me chooses a word like move, it’s not just about speed or action. It’s about momentum. It’s about refusing to stay frozen in fear, in indecision. Lots of other words come to mind. But I have watched people choose their word and return to their word when their motivation faded, when their plans shifted, when life and the world interrupted their expectations. A word of the year doesn’t just control your year, but it grounds you in it. That becomes the core for your vision board. Vision boards often come next because I want to talk about them honestly. They’re often misunderstood. Some people are like, “Vision board?” They’re not magic. They’re not about wishing without working. They’re not about pretending that obstacles don’t exist. They’re about visibility and intention-setting. They force you and me to articulate what we want in a world that constantly tells you what you should want or makes you feel like you have to have everything set. They make what can be abstract more concrete. My vision board, for me, was usually a lot more word-based as opposed to photos, but it exposes patterns, especially for me, the gap between what I say I want and what I actually prioritize. So it is an exercise that I guide people through because I need to do it. I have seen people, when I used to do this in person, stop in the middle of their vision board and realize that everything they’ve chosen reflects rest, ease, freedom, but that their goals are all about grinding harder. So if you have a disconnect, that matters. You need to be able to have alignment. Alignment matters. So I love having the word as the anchor, making sure all of the goals and intentions are incorporated into the vision board, and making sure that there’s alignment. Because, to be frank, what I’ve witnessed consistently over the years is that people often arrive at these sessions tired, but still hopeful. Not necessarily always, sometimes physically tired, but soul tired. They are often busy, but not intentional. Accomplished, but maybe not fulfilled. Successful on paper or online, but feeling depleted in real life. One of the common realizations that people have is, “I’ve been moving, but I haven’t been choosing.” Like my mom used to say, the leaf and not the wind. Remember, busy does not mean aligned. Busy does not mean intentional. Busy does not mean fulfilled, which is why I do what I do. Reflection invites discernment. It asks not just, “Can I do this?” but “Should I?” and “Why am I doing this?” And that shift changes everything. So now I want to talk to you about rest. Rest is always a theme that comes up during my intention and goal-setting because people come in exhausted. They are carrying the belief that rest must be earned, that they can’t afford rest, that there’s no time for rest. That if you slow down, it’s indulgent, not necessary. That maybe pushing through is proof of commitment. But that is not true. What surfaces collectively is usually this: the truth that rest is not a reward. It is a requirement. Sleep is strategy. Boundaries are strategy. Saying no is a strategy. I love when I see people come to this understanding of how they show up, when they set these boundaries, when they realize that they do not have to earn rest, but they deserve rest. People have given themselves permission, sometimes for the first time, to stop performing productively and to start prioritizing sustainability. That shift shows up and changes how they show up in every part of their life, which means it impacts their brand. I care about that. Another powerful realization that I love about my session is that people tend to want to give and also to ask for help. A lot of people assume that others know what they need. They assume that support will disappear without being requested. They assume that everything that they do proves that they are strong. Year after year, someone has the realization that outsourcing is necessary. It is not indulgent. It is intentional. Asking for help is not weakness. It’s clarity. One person, I remember, said something that stuck with me, which was, “Doing everything myself isn’t strength. It’s a bottleneck.” I could take that quote and use it for myself because it really does resonate. That awareness changes how people move through the year. Realizing is almost as important as achieving because people often come in focused on what they want to add. “I’m going to get this new goal, these new roles, new responsibilities, make this money.” But the breakthroughs that happen in the intention and goal-setting session are what happens when they name what they are letting go of. One of the questions that I ask in the session is, “What are you tolerating?” And it brings up reflections. So people are thinking about letting go of old expectations, unhealthy dynamics, toxic bosses, toxic spouses, over-functioning, living in and with the shoulds. You know, my therapist always says, “We are done with shoulds.” It’s “What do I want?” So we often come to that reminder that letting go is not a sign of failure. It is a sign of discernment, that we can prune the things that are not serving us. That releasing sometimes creates momentum that is adding more than a goal ever could. Another thing that often comes up is comparison. It’s a recurrent theme every year. Comparison drains joy. I say it all the time. I don’t believe in competition. I believe in inspiration. Because comparison drains and distorts perspective. It convinces people that they are behind when they’re simply on a different path. Everybody has their own path. So almost every year, whether they reach it for themselves or I tell them, they realize, “I don’t have competition. My only competition is who I was before, not somebody else.” That my path is my path. Timing is yours. Your journey is yours. Your path is not a race against anybody else’s highlight reel. What I love about this reflection is that it dismantles comparison and brings people back to who they are in themselves. So let’s talk about some of the questions that I’ve asked. They have evolved over time and they will continue to do so, but they always center reflection. How would you describe the year you just lived? What are you most proud of and why? What drained you? What energized you? What did you tolerate longer than you should have? What did you release? Who supported you? And one question that has become really powerful for me is this: “Knowing what you know now, what would you have done differently at the beginning of the year?” And sometimes it’s nothing because we didn’t know. But it’s helpful to reflect on where you could have had a different pivot point because of a choice that you made and to do that differently going forward. It’s not reflecting from regret. It’s from wisdom. It’s from the knowledge that you now have. That question ends up revealing patterns. It shows people where they rushed, where they ignored, where they didn’t rest, where they didn’t ask for help soon enough. That information is a call to be guided, not shamed, but guided as to how you go forward differently. It’s why I love this collective reflection. There’s just magic in it because you know there are hundreds of people coming together at this time, in this space, to set those intentions and goals. There’s power in the witnessing. There’s power in accountability and setting those intentions with other people. Not necessarily hearing them, but seeing them, because I share what the results are when I’m asking the questions. There is courage and encouragement in not being alone. I love when people reach out to me in the middle of the year saying, “I hit this goal,” “This thing happened,” because we are collectively saying this is going to be our intention, our goals. I have watched people take risks they never would have taken otherwise, not because the fear disappeared, but because the clarity we’ve driven toward outweighed the fear. The excitement that we have because we’re doing it together is fantastic. For me, at some point, I realized that doing this work is part of my calling. It’s a part of my brand. It’s helping people slow down and tell the truth to themselves. Helping them prioritize reflection instead of skipping over it. Helping them understand that growth is not always acceleration, but reflection always gets you to a point where you can do either consistency or do better. Sometimes that growth looks like alignment. Sometimes rest. Definitely saying no. Always choosing what you’re going to release because it no longer fits or serves you. Sometimes it looks like choosing a completely different pace. I’ve had people have revelations. I’m so proud that I have the opportunity to help people navigate this and that they connect with each other. The chat during these sessions is always popping. People are helping each other, sharing resources, et cetera. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned from doing this for more than a decade is that reflection is not a luxury. It is a necessity, and it is a leadership skill. If you don’t pause, you repeat patterns. If you don’t reflect, you build on autopilot. That often doesn’t mean building. If you don’t name what matters for you, someone or something else will decide for you. You want whatever you decide to have your best interests, goals, and intentions in mind. So as you step into this new year, I want to invite you to resist the urge to rush. Don’t rush past the year you just lived. I want you to plan, but I want you to reflect first. Don’t skip reflection because it feels uncomfortable. Don’t confuse motion or busyness with meaning. The goal isn’t just to move forward. It’s to move with intention and hopefully hit those goals in the meantime. To move in a way that honors who you are becoming, not just what you are achieving. That’s the practice. That’s the work. That is the calling that I am proud to stand in as part of my personal brand. I’m honored to have the opportunity to do it with all of you each year. So this is the year you’re going to continue to iterate, build, and learn with me when it comes to personal branding. I am grateful to walk that path with you. Until next time, my friends. I want you to stand by your brand, and I will see you soon. Bye. That's it for this episode. I appreciate you hanging out with me on Branding Room Only. Now, please do me a quick favor: head over to ratethispodcast.com/branding so more people can join this conversation. And make sure to stop by at paulaedgar.com/events to see what's next. Whether I'm live, online, or in person, I'd love to see you there. See you next time in the Branding Room. And until then, stand tall, shine bright, and always stand by your brand.