The Strategic Power of Intentional Connection with Sonya Olds Som
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Description
Too many professionals—especially in the legal field—spend so much time focused on delivering excellent work that they forget to build a personal brand that reflects it. That oversight becomes clearer with each career transition, leadership aspiration, or missed opportunity to stand out.
That’s why I had to bring this episode back.
Sonya Olds Som is an experienced executive recruiter, former practicing attorney, and someone who has worked at the highest levels of legal talent strategy and search. She’s also a connector, a trailblazer, and a dear friend.
In honor of her birthday on August 14, I’m celebrating her brilliance, her advocacy, and her impact with this special re-release of one of my earliest and most powerful Branding Room Only conversations.
In this episode of Branding Room Only, Sonya and I talk about what it really takes to build a visible, credible, and strategic personal brand—especially in industries like law where branding often takes a backseat.
Chapters
2:24 – Sonya’s elevator pitch and how she defines personal branding
5:32 – The phrase Sonya uses to describe herself and how it ties into her favorite quote
7:30 – How connection can bridge what seems like insurmountable gaps
11:29 – How Sonya built and evolved her personal brand throughout her career
17:33 – Why people often get the concept of authenticity wrong
18:32 – The impact of COVID on deeper authenticity, connection, and accessibility
23:32 – The two biggest mistakes people make with networking and brand building
31:12 – Specific mistakes in-house attorneys make in the business development department
36:54 – Sonya’s advice to begin building your brand
40:08 – Pushback against the thought of branding as “braggy” and too self-promotional
42:40 – A common courtesy that can be a brand killer if you fail to follow it
48:52 – Sonya’s uncompromisable brand aspect and the special experience she brings to the room
Connect With Sonya Olds Som
Sonya Olds Som serves as the Global Managing Partner leading the Legal, Risk, and Compliance executive search practice group at DSG Global (Diversified Search Group), a full-service, Forbes-top-ten-ranked, executive search, consulting and convening firm. Her clients run the gamut from global Fortune 50 corporations to small, emerging companies, to non-profit and higher education institutions, seeking senior executives and board directors for critical positions, and she is often called upon to advise on issues inclusive leadership and succession planning. In addition to regularly writing for and being interviewed by the media, Sonya has (co)developed and (co)led many key initiatives and events nationwide focused on advancing inclusive leadership objectives in the legal industry and beyond.
Sonya is an active member of many professional organizations, including the National Bar Association (NBA), the Metropolitan Black Bar Association of New York (MBBA), the Black Women Lawyers Association of Greater Chicago, and the Economic Club of Chicago, several of whom (including the NBA and MBBA) have honored her for her work. Sonya has served as an advisor to several nonprofit organizations, including as a member of the board of Girls Inc. of Chicago, a member of the Kalamazoo College Alumni Association Engagement Board, and a as a member of the board of the Cornell Black Lawyers Alumni Network (CBLAN), as well as CBLAN’s Midwest Chapter Chair. Sonya earned her bachelor’s degree with honors in English at Kalamazoo College, and her Juris Doctor degree at Cornell Law School. She lives in Chicago with her husband, son, cat, and dog.
Mentioned In The Strategic Power of Intentional Connection with Sonya Olds Som
Sonya’s Branding Room Only Hype Song Playlist
American Writers Museum
American Writers Museum OnWord2025 Gala on September 8
Girls Inc. of Chicago Strong Smart Bold Awards Gala on October 9
Howards End by E.M. Forster
“If You Stay Ready, You Don’t Have to Get Ready” by Sonya Olds Som
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Sponsor for this episode
This episode is brought to you by PGE Consulting Group LLC.
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Transcript
Paula Edgar: Hey, everyone, it's Paula Edgar, and welcome back to Branding Room Only. Today, I'm re-releasing one of my earlier episodes, which is a standout conversation with my brilliant friend, Sonya Olds Som, and I'm doing it in honor of her birthday week.
Sonya was born on August 14th, and this episode is dropping just in time to celebrate her and her incredible impact. Who is she? Sonya is the global managing partner of the Legal, Risk, Compliance and Government Affairs Practice Group at DSG Global. She is a powerhouse in recruitment, a fierce advocate for inclusive leadership, and one of the most intentional connectors I know, connecting people to opportunities, to each other, and to their own potential.
In this episode, we go deep on what it means to build a personal brand that's not just visible, but valuable. We talk about strategic networking, authenticity, navigating transitions, and yes, we even get into Orson Welles, hype songs, and cats.
Let's rewind to this gem of a conversation and celebrate Sonya's brilliance, her birthday, and her brand.
Welcome to the Branding Room Only podcast, where we share career stories, strategies, and lessons learned on how industry leaders and influencers have built their personal brands. Now, let's get started with the show.
Hello, everyone. I am Paula Edgar, your host of Branding Room Only, a podcast where we discuss how people build their brands and the talents and experiences they've used in order to become industry leaders and influencers.
Today, my guest is Sonya Olds Som. Sonya is a global managing partner, legal, risk, compliance, and government affairs practice group lead at Diversified Search Group, combining her extensive executive search experience in the legal industry with a proven track record of understanding the importance of diversity and inclusive leadership.
Sonya leads, searches, and advises clients in recruiting chief legal officers, general counsels, and other C-suite and board members across industries. Most importantly, Sonya is my friend, and she is fabulous. Welcome, Sonya.
Sonya Olds Som: Thank you so much, Paula. It's so great to be here. Thank you for having me.
Paula Edgar: You're very welcome. I'm excited for our conversation. So the first question that is up is this. What is your elevator pitch, Sonya?
Sonya Olds Som: So my elevator pitch is obviously my title and those things that you said. I explain to people that organizations, both for-profit and non-profit, retain me exclusively to assist them in recruiting top talent—especially diverse talent—for executive roles at their organizations.
I'm particularly sought out to conduct general counsel, deputy general counsel, senior counsel, chief diversity officer, and board searches. I'm paid by organizations, not by candidates. While candidates are very important to this process, of course, I'm not officially a coach or a career advisor.
I do the best I can to advise candidates when I can on their career paths, but my first priority—which pays my mortgage and allows me to prepare to send my son to college—is identifying candidates for my paying organizational clients, not assisting candidates with their job searches.
Paula Edgar: Which is an important distinction because I think when most people think headhunter or somebody who's doing search or anything like that, they think about the candidate experience—which obviously is a part of it—but in terms of the way that you work, because you have such experience and the work that you do in terms of providing impact, it is really the organizations that you connect with.
Obviously, having such a network like you do helps because then you're able to bring together the benefit of having the searches and knowing all the people and to success. So I'm glad you made that distinction, and it's an important part of your elevator pitch. So thank you.
So tell me, we always talk about personal branding. We are, like, it's something that's a core part of our discussions. How would you define a personal brand as somebody who's not familiar with the concept?
Sonya Olds Som: Yes, I've actually written an article, or maybe more than one, about this topic, but I think the short answer is: your personal brand is how you are known, what you are known for, and what you want to be known for.
I think it's important for people to understand that every single one of us has a personal brand, whether you recognize it or believe it or really know what it is or not. People have a point of view on you, and it's up to you to decide whether your brand helps you or hurts you. It's up to you to decide how you want to shape that brand.
Paula Edgar: It's up to you to decide whether your brand helps or hurts you. So I have so many times when people are like, "I don't have a brand." I'm just like, "Yeah, you do." As soon as you say you don't have a brand, it's like, "Well, now your brand for me is like, you don't care about your brand." So it definitely is problematic.
I'm glad again that you made that distinction. I always tell people your brand is your magic. So yes, it's all the things that you say, they say, but it is what just makes you distinctive in the market. It makes you distinctive in terms of how people think about you. So it's all of those.
We will definitely include your articles in the links for the show notes for this show. So describe yourself in three words or short phrases.
Sonya Olds Som: You know what? I'll do you one better and tell you in one phrase: I am a connector.
Paula Edgar: I mean, yes. Yeah, I was about to challenge it, be like, "No, there's more." No, no. Yep. That's correct.
I will say, as somebody who knows you, you are not just a connector in terms of the work you do, but you are a connector in terms of people and content and opportunities and interest. So you really are a connector in all of the senses of the word, which I think that is a perfect word to encapsulate how you add value. So good job. I'm going to steal that one.
Sonya Olds Som: Thank you.
Paula Edgar: Okay, so tell me what your favorite quote is.
Sonya Olds Som: My favorite quote, and I gave this a lot of thought because I was an English major and I love to read and I love a lot of quotes, but for purposes of this conversation, my favorite quote is the beginning of a longer quote, but I'll just use the first two words of it: "Only connect."
That is a line that appears in the novel Howards End by E.M. Forster. Then it has a lot of additional pretty words about how great connecting is and how it brings everything together. But I always come back to that: only connect.
I think that there are people over here who have great things to offer and people over there who have great things to offer. If they could only connect, there would be so much that could open up in the world for each of them and then for everybody else by extension. I think about those missed connections and those missed connection opportunities. Like I said, it's my life's work now to try to help bridge those gaps.
Paula Edgar: You know, I'm glad you gave it more context because when you just said the words, I thought I went a different way with it in terms of context. But I also thought when you explained it, that "only connect" is also a diversity and inclusion imperative.
So much of what disconnects us is our inability to get to each other, that we think we're so different. Then once we actually connect, if we only just connect, we find that there are so many more similarities than there are differences that keep us apart. So I love that in multiple ways.
Sonya Olds Som: You can connect with people in very unexpected ways that you would never think you have something in common with someone.
You know, quick story. When I was a law firm associate, there was a client who seemed to only give us business because he hated us and wanted to torture us. An older gentleman.
One day, as the immigration lawyer for the law firm, I was told that I had to discuss a matter with this very, very scary client. I was maybe late 20s. He was maybe a white man in his 70s. Of course, it started out with him yelling at me about how I was an idiot and my whole firm was an idiot and blah, blah, blah. He talks and talks.
At one point, he says something, and I mumble under my breath, "Touch of Evil." Then he stopped and he said, "What did you say?" I said, "Touch of Evil. Like, the thing you just said is a line from the movie Touch of Evil."
He said, "You know Touch of Evil? You know Orson Welles?" I'm like, "Well, not personally, but I'm a fan." It was like a light switch. He went from "Y’all are all terrible. May you die in flames," to "You, Sonya, are my favorite person. Now I want you to handle all my business. I only want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to the rest of them."
We would try to stump each other with Orson Welles quotes. Until the day he passed—God bless him—you know, he was a wonderful client and I so enjoyed my relationship with him.
So if you can just find out what the thing is, there can be these ways to bridge what seem like insurmountable gaps with regards to increasing DEI. Like you said, there's more that we possibly have in common than what separates us.
Paula Edgar: I love that. We have to make sure we pull the whole quote for the show notes too.
Okay, so I'm really excited about what you're going to say next. One of the things that I like to incorporate into pretty much everything I do is music. I find that music is something like the connection pieces that we use for each other.
So my question for you, Sonya, is what is your hype song? Let me just define hype song for folks who are listening who may not be familiar with the term. So your hype song is two prongs. It's either a song you use to hype yourself up when you're walking into a room or you're doing something that you want to get pumped for. Or it is, I would say, the song where if you're in a bad mood, you know what's going to bring you up. So either definition that you choose, what is your hype song, Sonya?
Sonya Olds Som: Hard to pick one. I might've said "Baby I'm a Star," but I know that's your song. I'm going to go with "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen.
Paula Edgar: Ooh. So the best part about this is—for those of you who are listening and watching— Sonya and I know each other well and I was like, "I don't know what she's going to pick." One of the things that I love about you, Sonya, is that you have such an eclectic music and pop culture knowledge base, so I literally was like, "I'm not sure what she's going to say." But you're right, mine is definitely always "Baby I'm a Star," by Prince.
But Queen, I did not expect, and I love it. Awesome. Thank you for that. I feel excited in that I got what I was expecting, which was the unexpected.
Okay, so let’s jump into talking more about branding. You know, you mentioned just in the conversation what you do now in terms of how you help organizations to find candidates and folks to fill these very important high-level roles, but you have come a long way, maybe, as they say, in terms of what you have done, and you just mentioned that you have been an immigration lawyer, you’ve been a partner, you’ve worked at several places. Tell me about in all of those iterations of who you’ve been and what you’ve done in work, how have you built your personal brand?
Sonya Olds Som: So when I was an immigration lawyer, obviously being a law firm lawyer, you have to get clients, you have to build business. So I started with LinkedIn. I started with Twitter very early on. I can tell you exactly when I started—it was 15 years ago, almost 16 years ago—because I was pregnant with my son, and I was put on bed rest. I couldn’t do panels and speaking engagements and networking events. I had to lay in the bed for like a month. I used that opportunity to get on social media.
So my time on LinkedIn and Twitter, and then of course I added additional platforms, started, like I said, almost 16 years ago. Then of course, I spoke on panels when I was able to, and things of that nature. My switch to becoming a legal recruiter meant—and again, in a very business development-focused role and a very networking, relationship-building role—meant that over time, over the course of these last 15 years, I have really grown in terms of participating in bar associations and other associations in a different way.
People want to hear from recruiters. People want tips about their careers and things. So instead of doing every single one-on-one conversation, I try to participate in as many group discussions as possible. You know, I write articles. I’m interviewed by the legal press on different issues. I’ve received some awards. I still speak on a lot of panels. I now organize a lot of panels for a lot of different organizations. Now, apparently, I do podcasts.
Paula Edgar: You do indeed. You are a well-sought-after podcast guest.
Sonya Olds Som: Thank you very much.
Paula Edgar: So that’s helpful because when it comes to branding, oftentimes I think people think, “I don’t know how to brand myself as a person because I’m not a product,” but really, it’s your experience, right? Your skill set—all those things—they are tied into the product value and the value proposition that is you.
So how do you put it face front? How do you get people to understand the skill set that you have that is clear? Then the skill set that you may not have, that you have that people may not be having much access to, which—things that you mentioned like volunteering and putting together things—can help to see some things that they may not attribute to you and your brand offhand just based on what they see in your bio.
So I guess this question leads into the next, right? Which is, how would you say your brand has evolved and changed throughout your career?
Sonya Olds Som: I think that it has evolved, frankly, along with the rise of social media, in terms of not just being a thing kids do and not just the thing tech people do, not just the thing that marketing people do. But over the course of, like I said, the last 15 years, when I first got started, I have seen more and more lawyers get on social media. I’ve seen more and more executives get on social media.
So my own use of it has continued to grow. Like I said, I’ve gotten involved with more platforms. I had to shift my focus to stop talking about immigration and labor and employment and start talking about recruiting and diversity, equity, inclusion.
Even within my legal search career, I went from focusing exclusively on lawyer search into changing search firms. Then they’re starting to focus also on DEI searches and DEI consulting and board searches and other executive searches. So I had to sort of broaden in terms of my topics.
Like the most recent article I’ve written is not about the law, it’s about becoming a board member. So I’ve had to broaden my topics. I’ve had to sort of broaden my networks and try to be more actively involved in non-lawyer organizations. I’ve had to be more actively involved in writing and speaking and things on topics other than strictly lawyers, while remaining very true to my base, which is lawyers, especially diverse lawyers.
But as I have broadened into these other areas, I’m working to bring my lawyer community into these other areas as well. They’re increasingly interested in board roles. They’re increasingly interested in DEI and ESG and being board directors and all of these other things. So I’ve been growing, and my network has been growing, and our brands have been growing together over the years.
Also, I think the thing I have done more now is I integrate a lot more of my personal self and my authenticity and my personal life. It turns out that’s a distinguishing factor. A lot of recruiters out there, not a lot of recruiters who spend a whole lot of time talking about Star Wars and Hamilton and Prince and my cat.
You know, I think I’m probably one of the few recruiters who get on the phone with a CEO or GC and they’re like, “How’s Malcolm?” It’s like, Malcolm is my cat and very popular on social media.
So I have a lot more of an integration of myself in this process, which, frankly, I think makes me more relatable. It distinguishes me from other people and frankly, gives me a lot more pleasure and enjoyment.
Paula Edgar: So I’m glad that you brought that up because I think people get the concept of authenticity often wrong. They think it’s like an on-and-off switch, as opposed to what I refer to as a scale. That you have to think about the context and think about what your intentions are and access your areas of authenticity depending on where you are and how.
Sometimes you can push a little bit to be more authentic, and other times you retreat a little bit to be less, depending on what the issue is. But it’s never not you, right? It’s always some of you in that space.
And you just talked about it, right? That a CEO, you may not start the conversation with, “Well, this is my cat,” but if they are bringing and being open to that and understanding that we are people and people connect based on so many things, not just what we do or what we need from each other, but who we are and how we relate.
To the point of that “only connect,” only reconnected at the beginning. So I’m glad that you brought that up. The authenticity piece of it and how you incorporate it is very seamless. But I think it amplified more—and tell me if you think I’m right—because of the pandemic. Because literally we were at home, like, “Well, let me go on and see what Sonya's doing with her cat because I’m home. I’m not in my head. I’m not commuting.”
But do you think that it helped, that going through the pandemic collectively helped you to access your authenticity a little bit more?
Sonya Olds Som: Absolutely. I think it helped all of us. I think it helped deepen all of our relationships and allowed us all to really see each other, not just transactionally and not just as fellow professionals, but as humans who are all over the world experiencing this singular, devastating experience together.
And talk about “only connect.” Not being able to connect in the traditional ways, not being able to connect in person, not being able to see each other, being very isolated each in our own homes, dealing with our own stresses and worries with homeschooling kids and worrying about relatives and all of these different things.
You know, I’m always telling people that the pandemic has been horrible, but it’s also been an opportunity for people to really see each other as people, doing Zooms with people and having their kids pop into the Zoom or their pets pop into the Zoom I think has been a way to really have a deeper connection and a more authentic and empathetic connection with each other.
Also, it’s been great for access. So many people did not have access to a lot of these different events, either because they didn’t have the money, they didn’t have the child care, the distance was too great, maybe they were too shy and too introverted, or the scheduling just never worked out. Or frankly, maybe even people who are disabled, who had not been provided an opportunity to participate in and couldn’t participate in things.
So it became a bit of an equalizer, frankly, especially for people who were not able to do a lot of this networking and things or business development or what have you. Men without children or men with wives who took care of their children had a competitive advantage. They could go play golf and go do whatever, whenever. They already had a great marketing budget because they were already very successful in their firm.
If you're, say, for example, a younger woman coming up trying to raise kids, you may not have the marketing budget or the time, the child care, or frankly, may feel a little uncomfortable doing some of the in-person business development things that men, I think, feel a lot more safe and comfortable doing. So it's been a bit of an equalizer.
I will also say that during the—especially the early days of the pandemic—I was pulling together on Zooms groups of general counsels, groups of chief diversity officers or whatever, and attendance was near 100%. And they may be a group of Fortune 500 general counsels and I mean, of course, they’re going to be on there, where else are they going to be, right?
So people who you would’ve been lucky to get any three or four of these people in the room together at the same time because of how busy they were, you would have 25, 30 of them all on the Zoom together. And again, everybody’s trying to help each other through this unprecedented situation, personally and professionally.
I hope we get to hold on to some of that, even as life returns to whatever normal is, because I think it really did create an additional connectivity more so than ever before.
Paula Edgar: I think you’re absolutely right. When I think about those groupings of folks—and they were doing, like, happy hours, and all kinds of things that people were trying to do virtually—I remember doing trivia and I was like, “Oh, so the type A does not stop over Zoom.”
All right. It did help to feel less isolated and to feel connected still, even though we weren’t able to be in the same spaces. And I laugh because each time I reconnect with someone—and we just were together last week when you were in New York—when I connect with somebody who I haven’t seen in a long time, I feel like it’s that you’re in a field and it’s that slow run to each other being like, “Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen you in a whole entire pandemic.”
And now we're at three years. And so it literally has been good, significant time. And somebody said the other day that next year we'll have gone through high school in terms of the time, when being in front of us. Like, "Oh my gosh," it’s wild.
Sonya Olds Som: Well, we've already been through law school.
Paula Edgar: We have been. We have done law school. We have a full degree in pandemic-ing.
So let’s get into something that you and I like to talk about often, which is mistakes we see people make when it comes to networking and building their brands. So in the question that I sent to you, I specified in-house, but feel free to pivot this however you would like, if you want to say law firm and in-house or what have you.
But I think it’s really important. When I think about the things that you know, or the things that you’ve seen, you’ve seen people make a lot of mistakes. So tell me some of the mistakes that stand out for you when it comes to people networking and building their brands.
Sonya Olds Som: I think the very first mistake that everybody makes is thinking they don’t have to do it, thinking that it doesn’t matter. I think a lot of us were raised on a notion of meritocracy that says, “If I’m just hardworking and smart, surely the cream always rises to the top.”
It makes me laugh as a person who routinely interviews people just because somebody they knew had the power to say to me, “And I also need you to interview X person.” Sometimes I’m glad, because maybe I wouldn’t have known about that person and they’re great. Sometimes they’re people where, “Wow, I would be better suited to this job than this person that I have to interview because their neighbor is a board director and said, ‘Tell the recruiter to interview him.’”
So I think the first mistake people make is thinking that they’re somehow immune because they’re so smart and they’re so hardworking. Clearly, the world will just somehow sense that. That’s all you really need to do.
When in fact, people are getting jobs every day because their network is putting in a good word for them. Also, multiple people may be putting in a good word for them.
Frankly, as a recruiter, if multiple people all say your name when I ask about referrals for a search, I call it the Ferris Bueller effect. If you saw the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, every person in the movie is like, “There’s someone you can talk to. Have you talked to Ferris Bueller? Have you met Ferris Bueller?”
When I see candidates achieve a Ferris Bueller effect—where multiple people all say I should talk to them—it helps to reconfirm what I was thinking. Also, when I’m talking to the client about this person, I can say, “Well, you know the general counsels of X, X, and Y company all independently said this would be a good candidate for this role.” That makes a big difference.
So the first mistake that people make is thinking that networks don’t matter, when frankly they may matter more than everything else. You can be moderately qualified, but if you’re well-networked, I mean, like I said, there are some people out there, every once in a while you see somebody get a job and you’re like, “How the hell did they get that job?” Probably the network. So that’s the first mistake.
The second mistake is either not doing it internally within your organization, because yes, you have a brand. Yes, there are things that you are known for or not known for or should be known for or shouldn’t be known for within your organization, as well as externally.
Because A, even if you are the happiest person in the world at your in-house job and don’t think you’re ever going to leave, child, people get fired. Your spouse could get transferred to some other place and now you’ve got to move. Companies get acquired. Companies go out of business.
Just because you are happy doesn’t mean that maybe one day you won’t be happy. And maybe one day they won’t be happy with you. Or maybe circumstances will change.
That’s when you’ll have to crawl out from behind the back of the bushes you’ve been in for 20 years and hope somebody remembers you from first-year contracts class in law school. It’s not a good look.
It looks very transactional. It looks very needy. It doesn’t look authentic. It doesn’t look like you really are interested in the relationship. It looks like you didn’t have any time for anybody until you needed something. Again, that’s not a good way to go about things.
So again, first mistake is not thinking you have to do it at all. Second mistake is to either not do it internally or to not do it externally. The two things influence each other. Internal connections can refer you for external opportunity. The fact that external people think well of you could actually mean a lot to your colleagues.
You know, I’ve changed jobs a couple of times in the last few years. The fact that people could see on LinkedIn that I was connected to other people that they knew helped my new colleagues be like, “Oh, welcome to the company. You know, so-and-so person at X company or whatever said you're great and that we were lucky to have you.” So that helps to influence your brand as well internally.
Paula Edgar: Everything you just said. Like, well, I mean, everything you just said, the not doing it, as you were talking about it, I was like, “If you stay ready, you don’t get ready.”
Sonya Olds Som: I literally have an article with that title.
Paula Edgar: Which we will be linking in the show notes. I mean, it is so 100% true. When I do stuff for folks who are in-house, they feel like there’s this cocoon of safety, because they don’t have to do business development or what have you, that they don’t have to.
But when you think about it, they have to brand themselves within their legal department. Folks have to know you do work well. They have to know that they can rely on you.
I would say people who are in-house have to influence the business. The business has to trust them. When they say no, their no has to be a no that is appropriate, or they have to help them get to yes. That they have to be partners in what they’re doing, not folks who are trying to get them to not do things. So they really need to have a brand that is strong.
When they say that they don’t, it is infuriating to me. But to that end, to your point, we have no idea what’s going to happen. Folks who were at that bank last week were like, “I got a job and I’m fine.” Now they’re not.
So pivoting to the point about having a network, I love it when I see that people can pick up the phone and be like, “Hey, my friend was just caught up in this thing, but they are fantastic. How can we help to pivot them and get them into another opportunity? What opportunities are there?”
Because it means that their brand is strong. It means that their value proposition is strong.
When you were talking, I was thinking about what you just said about being able to move from place to place and having folks be able to understand your value proposition based on your network. And I thought to myself, “How I know that your brand is strong is that…” and maybe, well, you know, let me pivot back.
I know your brand is strong. But I was going to say, I know your brand is strong because I’ve never been in a room where somebody’s not saying anything good about you. Because, well, I’m thinking to myself, they’re probably not saying anything bad about you no matter what, because I’m in the room. Because I don’t play that.
But to that end, it is always, “If you don’t know Sonya, you don’t know.” Like, “Where have you been?” It’s always, “Sonya is adding this amount of value, she knows this, and everybody needs to know Sonya,” because it’s true.
And I remember even before I met you, people were saying that. And when we finally met each other, again, it was that slow run to the field. Like, “How have we not met each other yet?” And every time somebody asks how we met, I’m like, “I don’t remember. But I just know that whatever it was, it took too long. And thank goodness it happened.”
Sonya Olds Som: Likewise, likewise.
Paula Edgar: So that’s something that seemed very in-house-y. Is there anything that you would call out in specific to mistakes that people who are at firms make? Or if it’s the same thing, that’s fine too.
Sonya Olds Som: Again, not doing it. Relying on being a servicing attorney and saying, “I don’t need to do business development because somebody else is going to do the business development, and then I will just do the work.”
Well, the problem with that is that when the market gets tight and there aren’t as many clients and there isn’t much work, the rainmaker is also going to hold on to their work and do the work too.
Frankly, when it’s time to lay people off, the first people to go are the people who are not bringing in business. Because they know that they can just double down on having the rainmakers do their own work. If you’re not the person who can help keep the lights on by bringing in the work, you’re going to have to go.
The other reason why it’s a mistake is because if you spend your whole life as a servicing attorney, it frankly cannot be as lucrative. Maybe it’s not as successful. It may not even be as satisfying. And you don’t have as much control.
I love bringing in my own work because these are my clients. I usually have a long relationship with them. I understand them. They understand me. They don’t treat me like a vendor.
If something goes wrong, they don’t say, “Oh, vendor did not perform. Fired.” They call me up and say, “Sonya, we’re going to have to figure this out. I trust you. I know that we will.”
So again, having the network and having the relationship so that you can move beyond the transactional into the trusted advisor, so, so important.
So the other thing I’ll say is a big mistake is not stepping to people correctly and doing your business development when you’re at a firm. I have seen people fumble situations by going up to a general counsel, having a two-second conversation, and then being like, “So when can we have a meeting? You’re going to send me some, or what’s happening here?”
It’s like they already know people. They met you five seconds ago, and you have no game.
Have you ever heard of trying to develop a relationship outside the transaction? Maybe offering them some free advice? Maybe offering to make introductions for them?
Again, I have an article about what the outside counsel can do to build a relationship with inside counsel. I have seen people piss off general counsel so badly that that firm is not getting any more work from that company until that general counsel is no longer there. Just so, so bad.
The other mistake I’ve seen, though, is the opposite. I knew a law firm partner once who had a very deep, multi-year relationship with a general counsel that went back to when they were, like, 18-year-old line brothers together.
When he made equity partner at his firm, we were at lunch together. I said, “Have you reached out to X person, who is a Fortune 100 general counsel?”
He emailed me to congratulate me and said, "We should get together sometime." I said, “Well, did you get together sometime?”
He said, “Well, I know he's so busy, and I don't want him to think that I'm just trying to use him to get work.” I almost had a heart attack in the middle of a restaurant, Paula. I was like, “What are you talking about?”
I was like, “Y’all have been friends for 20 years since you were 18-year-old line brothers. Do you really think he thinks you’ve been working a 20-year-long con on him in the hopes that maybe one day you could get his business? Are you crazy?”
And if anything, he wants to help you. You’re his boy. You’re his boy. He wants to help you. And it helps him to have an outside counsel whom he can trust is not just out for themselves.
I’m like, “If you don’t call him today, I’m going to call him. I mean, what are you saying? What is happening?”
So I think the mistake of saying, “My personal life is here, and my professional life is there, and never the twain shall meet,” when in fact, your main distinguishing quality from other equally qualified providers could be the personal relationship.
So again, you can’t over-index on it, like, “Hey, I assume you’ll give me work.” You can’t over-index on it. But on the other hand, you can’t completely discount it as being a part of how you build relationships and get business.
Paula Edgar: I mean, it’s so true because when you think about building relationship capital, I think of it like a bank account. So I just went over my account. We just met. You put in $5, and you’re trying to withdraw $20.
You got to get the interest in there. You got to keep doing more deposits. Then the flip side—what you’re just talking about—is that you’ve been years and years of deposits and you’re like, “I don’t know if I should pull out $20 and go mess with my balance.” It’s like, you’ve got a billion dollars in there. $20 is not going to hurt.
Really thinking about that you put the work in. I often hear general counsel and other folks who are in-house say that they are often waiting for people who are at firms to ask, and that they never get asked.
So yes, they will sit and go have these dinners, and yes, they will go and get all the things because that’s a perk of being an in-house person. But they’re not going to force the person to ask or offer if that’s not a part, like, you have to be able to go get it.
So your brand needs to be somebody who understands what your value proposition is. People will see what they may be struggling with, what they need, looking at the news, et cetera, so that you can be there to support what it is that they need at the time that they need it.
That’s all being strategic and thoughtful and all that, which also all goes into your brand. But to that end, not asking—or not asking well enough—it also can hurt your brand. So I’m glad that you brought that up.
So tell me what advice you have. So I’m new—or maybe not new—I’m seasoned, as they say. I’m trying to figure out, "What can I do to start building my brand?" what would you tell me?
Sonya Olds Som: Well, I would say first, before you do anything else, have some reflection. Have some self-regard. What is your brand? What would people say is who you are and what you’re known for and what you’re good at? What do you want to be known for?
Maybe ask some people, “When you think of me, what are the first three things that you think about when you think of me?” You can’t assume that people are going to memorize chapter and verse about you.
You have to assume that maybe people will remember two or three things about you. So what do you want those two or three things to be? And you can’t be all things to all people.
So you got to double down on what you’re passionate about and what you’re really good at and what you want to be known for, so that if somebody has just a couple of minutes to think about who could be a good fit for this board or this panel or this job or whatever it is, that immediately you come to mind, because they have memorized the one or two things about you that are important to know.
So I think that’s the beginning of the process. Then, like I said, it starts small. People look at me and they’re like, “Wow, you’re doing so much.” It’s like, yeah, I’ve been doing this 15 years. I’ve been ramping up for 15 years to all of the things that I’m doing now. I think people get intimidated, thinking they have to run out tomorrow and do all the things. Like, start small.
Just start spending a little bit more time on LinkedIn. Start sharing some articles. Start commenting on other people’s posts. Start resharing other people’s posts.
If you can get in a regular habit, a consistency of putting yourself out there, that’s the other thing. People will tell me, “I tried LinkedIn once and it didn’t work.” I’m like, “Okay, let’s unpack that. You tried LinkedIn once and it didn’t work?”
So A, you got to be consistent. B, you can’t think that any one thing is going to just magically cure all of your life. I’ve gotten opportunities and candidates from so many different angles.
So part of it is that, again, over time, mixing things up, switching things up. Because, like I said, I get opportunities through panels. I get opportunities through things I write. I get opportunities through all of these different things that I do.
So I try on a regular basis to do some of all of it. Of course, like I said, now podcasts, which is a whole new fun thing to get into the mix. So again, I’ve written articles about it.
Also, if you really, really feel like you’re stuck, consider hiring a coach. There are people who make it their business to help lead you through this stuff.
Paula Edgar: Yes. I always say hire a coach and get a therapist. They are not the same.
Sonya Olds Som: Amen.
Paula Edgar: Get rid of the stuff that’s holding you back, and figure out how to amplify the things that can propel you forward.
That’s fantastic advice. I love thinking about it in the assessment place. But when you were talking about it, I thought about something that people often will push back on me on.
They’re like, “Oh well, I introduced myself to that one person that one time”—like what you were saying about LinkedIn—and then it’s like, “Well, I don’t want to be braggy, and I don’t want to be self-promotion-y.”
I’m always like, “If you don’t do it, who’s going to do it? How are you going to get the benefit of having done it?” It doesn’t have to be icky. It can be in your authentic space.
But what are your thoughts about people thinking about branding or even using any of these tools we’re talking about as self-promoting or braggy?
Sonya Olds Som: Well, again, I think we need to move beyond the negative conception of talking about what you do in a positive way in terms of calling that bragging. Making sure that people are aware of who you are and what you do and being proud of what you do and being passionate about what you do is not bragging.
It's conversation, and it's people getting to know you. And you should listen to what other people are doing as well. So it's a conversation.
I think also being consistent about the spaces that you show up in and how you show up. I don't have to run around telling everybody that I'm a connector. I spend all my time connecting. So people see me connecting. So they know that's the thing I do.
So it's not always that you're running around. People think it's very stilted, that you walk up to someone at a party and say, "Hello, sir. I would like to have your business. These are the things that I would like to business with you. Won't you let me business with you?"
Actually, it's talking to someone. “Hey, what do you do? What are you interested in? What are you passionate about? What's top of mind for you?” You know, and again, natural icebreaker is, “How are you doing? How have things been for you?” Because the last three years have been a thing for everybody, personally or professionally.
It's been a challenge. You can icebreak with anybody on the earth by saying, “How are you doing? How are you holding up? How have these last few years been for you?" And either personally or professionally or both, that is a good way into a conversation. It's again, a great equalizer. We've all been in this situation.
Again, listening to people and what they've got going on and what they need and what they're thinking about. Then maybe you might think, “You know what, I know a person I can introduce you to that could help you with that,” or “I read an article recently that I thought might be of interest to you.”
Then now you naturally have a way to follow up with the person by making that introduction. You got to do what you say you're going to do as well.
Of course, before you start introducing anybody to anybody else, always ask both parties if they wish to be introduced to each other. Yes, that includes me.
I know I'm a recruiter, but I am also a human being and a very, very busy one at that. So when you go out there and just do email introductions between me and other people, you may end up looking foolish because I may or may not be in a position to talk to that person. I may be too busy. I may have stuff going on in my professional or personal life.
I have to admit, my grandmother died from COVID at the beginning of the pandemic. People were like, “Sonya, do this, Sony,a do that.” It's like, “Sonya's about to jump off a building. So you're going to have to leave me alone.”
So again, I’m a person and not a robot. So if you try to connect me to somebody without asking me first, you don't get what you're going to get depending on what the day is. That's what I do. I do not connect people without asking each party first if they wish to be connected. Very, very simple, common courtesy as a thing to do.
Paula Edgar: We've had this conversation many times. So I’m sitting here like raising the roof, like, yes, please tell them.
But I want to pull out for that, that is also a brand killer for some people. Because if I introduce Sonya to somebody without the preface, she might be annoyed at me, but it's not going to kill my brand because we have relationship with each other.
But when you think you have relationship with somebody and you don't, and you do those things, it literally, one of the things, speaking of therapy, I tend to say I need to work on is I hold a grudge for years.
I'm telling you, it is so easy just to check in, as Sonya mentioned, versus to do it and perhaps not be there where you think you are with the person, and to ruin what you might have invested in—the deposits you have made in that relationship to a bank—by doing something that is triggering or not having the right time, or annoying, all the things that nobody has tolerance for anymore, or never did, it’s really, really important.
This is a crux piece that I’m so glad that you brought up because I started actually writing an article about it, and I will hyperlink this part of this conversation into it because I’ve seen it ruin folks’ perception of somebody else.
And I’ve seen it ruin the person who they were trying to introduce to the other person’s perception of them and their power and influence because they didn’t have it. It really is problematic if you don’t do it right.
Sonya Olds Som: And let me pull out a couple of additional pieces. There are a short list of people who are very, very dear to me, who, they can introduce anybody they want to me at any time, and they don’t even have to ask me.
Because if they want me to do it, I will absolutely do it. Those people never do it. The people who actually do have the right, in my mind—such as yourself—if you introduce me to somebody, even if we have had no conversation about it, I know that you have my best interests at heart. It must be very important to you.
What’s important to you is important to me. So I will talk to anybody you want me to talk to. There’s a short list of people who have that access to me.
The reality, though, is that people like you absolutely never do that. You always ask me first, and you rarely ask me, which is very funny to me.
I’ll get these emails from people that says, “Sonya, so-and-so person told me that I could introduce so-and-so to you.” I don’t know any of y’all. What are you saying? What are you talking about? Who are any of you people?
Then the other thing that really gets me is that sometimes a candidate will try to get access to me, will try to get into a search, perhaps I've already told them no, or perhaps I've already had a conversation with them relatively recently and helped them all I could. Now all of a sudden, some unsuspecting person is trying to introduce me to a person who knows damn well we already know each other. That's the one.
Now, people shooting their shot, I actually don't mind that. You know, when you shoot your shot, it's like showing up at somebody's house without calling first. Maybe I'm home. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I want to talk to people. Maybe I don't.
So actually, I don't hold no grudges on that. "Oh, okay, well, when you shot your shot without asking me, you get what you get." But people who let other people introduce themselves to me, like trying to forum shop and try to, I don't know, influence or I don't know what they think they're doing to try to make me talk to them, I have to admit, I have a different reaction to that.
It's not positive. Because I don't have to do anything but be Black, pay taxes, and die. Those are literally the only three things that anybody can force me to do. I don't care who you have contact me. Stay Black. Pay taxes. Die. I literally don't have to do any other things.
Paula Edgar: Yeah, got it. You're so right. When you said you shoot your shot and show up at somebody's house, I have looked somebody dead in the eye, people, and been like, “I'm not home. You can't come in here.”
Sonya Olds Som: My mother used to do that. We would be sitting up in the living room with the curtains open. I’d be like, “Somebody's at the door.” She’d say, “I know somebody's at the door. They didn’t call first.”
Paula Edgar: That's correct. But I use your mother's rules of visiting my home. You don't get to show up. That's people who are related to me and not.
Sonya Olds Som: Again, a very short list of people can do that. Those are the people who generally don't do it.
Paula Edgar: All good. But you can come to my house whenever you want. Anyway. Now to that end...
Sonya Olds Som: Likewise.
Paula Edgar: I want to close out our conversation with two questions that I ask all of my guests. One is this one. It is called Your Stand By Your Brand. Tell me what is the authentic aspect of your personal and professional brand that you will never compromise on?
Sonya Olds Som: I will never compromise on the fact that I am unabashedly devoted to helping my people. I am unabashedly devoted to going the extra mile to help Black people, to help other underrepresented groups. I am unabashedly on that particular mission.
Not that I don't help other people. Not that I don't care about what happens to other people. But I think marginalized people don't have as many specific champions for them. They don't necessarily understand the roadmap. They don't necessarily understand and/or have the same relationships. It is my, I think, mission to really focus in that area. I'm not going to ever compromise on that.
Paula Edgar: I love that, which is a perfect segue to something that I know that you did deliberately for today’s podcast. For those of you who are watching any of the clips, it is that you are wearing a beautiful outfit. Will you tell us a little bit about where you got the outfit from?
Sonya Olds Som: Well, yes, Paula. Thank you for asking. So I am wearing a top from a Black clothing store, Black clothing designer called Dressed in Joy—website, dressedinjoy.com.
I love to support Black businesses like Dressed in Joy, like Harriet’s Bookshop in Philadelphia, which ships nationwide, like Gallery Guichard in Chicago that provides Black art, like Passions Eats Catering in Chicago.
So just a few, I love supporting Black businesses and wearing Dressed in Joy was something I thought was an easy thing to do to show my support for that company.
Paula Edgar: Fantastic. I’m glad that you did. Dressed in Joy is a company that I have been supporting for a while. Anybody who's seen me traveling in the airport knows I wear Dressed in Joy exclusively when I’m traveling.
I love their florals, et cetera. I included them in my Black History Month challenge this year in terms of supporting a Black-owned business. So if you have not checked out Dressed in Joy, do that and tell them that I sent you.
So thank you, Sonya. The final question that I have for you is this one: What is your Branding Room Only moment? What's your magic? So tell me what's your special gift, skill, experience, something that people would come and stand in a room to see or experience about you?
Sonya Olds Som: So I'm a theater person by background. I have done stand-up. And because I was an immigration lawyer and doing trainings on immigration law, the regulations of it can be quite boring.
Somebody once fell asleep during one of my presentations and his head fell and swacked the table really hard. I was like, "Wow, that man might've died. I'm going to have to try to infuse some fun into these presentations before people kill themselves, passing out from boredom of what I'm talking about."
So I think if you come into a room where I am—or a podcast where I am—I try to invest some fun, some realism, some authenticity into the discussion along with the substantive content.
Paula Edgar: 100%, 100%. Well, Sonya, my friend, I want to thank you for being a guest on Branding Room Only and bringing your special magic to the podcast. It's been a pleasure. I hope that you will come back and visit me again and we can talk about more stuff that gets on our nerves. Anyway, thanks for joining and thanks everybody for listening. See you next time. Bye.
Sonya Olds Som: Thank you, Paula. Bye.
Paula Edgar: That was Sonya Olds Som in all of her glory—strategic, insightful, and fully herself. One of the things I admire most about Sonya is that she doesn’t just talk about connection. She lives it.
She's built a reputation as the person who will make the introduction, share the opportunity, remember the detail, and create space for others to shine.
Being a connector isn’t just a part of her brand, it’s her superpower. It’s made her not only a force in the executive search world but a trusted resource and ally for so many of us navigating our own paths.
So whether you're thinking about how to grow your network, pivot your career, or finally get serious about building your brand, this conversation is packed with the real-world wisdom that actually moves the needle.
Sonya is one of those people whose impact ripples far beyond her job title. She shows up with heart, with humor, and a fierce commitment to helping others succeed, especially those who've been historically overlooked or underestimated. Her brand is built on excellence, generosity, and joy, and she makes it all look easy.
So as we celebrate her birthday this week, I want to take a moment to say: Happy birthday, Sonya. Thank you for being a connector, a truth teller, and a walking masterclass in how to lead with both strategy and soul. Most importantly for me, thank you for being a friend.
Thanks for listening to Branding Room Only. I'm Paula Edgar, and I’ll see you next time. If this episode resonated for you—and I hope that it did—please leave a rating at ratethispodcast.com/branding so other people can find it. Until then, stand by your brand. Bye, all.
