Paula Edgar: Welcome to Branding Room Only, the podcast where your personal brand gets a front row seat. I'm Paula Edgar, and if you're here, it's because you know your brand isn't just about what you do. It's about how people experience you. In each episode, you'll hear stories, strategies, and lessons from leaders and influencers who built their brands and made their mark. And I'll share the tools you need to do the same. Let's go.
Hi, all, and welcome back to Branding Room Only. It is your girl, Paula Edgar, your host, here to talk about something a little bit more personal than I usually do. I want to talk about motherhood and I want to talk about how motherhood has shaped my brand. I think a lot of people assume that when you become a parent, especially a mother, that your identity shifts in a way that requires you to shrink, that your ambition gets quieter, your goals get smaller and that everything becomes about your children and you somehow move to the background of your own life. That was not my experience. But something did shift. I love my children. They are my favorite people.
But let me tell you about the shift. When I became a parent, when I became a mother, my brand shifted in a way that made me stronger, clearer, and more intentional. Let me start at the beginning. I had my daughter, my first child, when I was in law school. And if you think about that season, I was already in the middle of a major transformation. Law school changes how you think, changes how you process. It pushes you to develop a completely new skill set. And at the exact same time, I was becoming a mother, which also changes how you think, how you process and helps you to develop an entirely new skill set. My brain was shifting in so many ways at that time. I was learning to think like a lawyer and I was learning how to care for, lead and be responsible for another human being at the same time.
And even with that responsibility, I was still figuring things out. I'm still figuring things out today. But before I became a mother, if I'm being honest, my brand was not focused. I was fun. I was enjoying life. I was moving through opportunities without, you know, thinking about a long-term tether or a long-term vision. Let me, before I move on, let me be clear. I'm still fun. That part didn't go anywhere. But now there's more direction behind it. There's more intention behind it. Motherhood forced me to think differently, not just about myself, but about who was and still is watching me. Because now I'm not thinking about just, hmm, what I want for my life, but I was thinking about what I was modeling for them. It’s about what my children would see, what they would absorb and what they would believe was possible, based on how I show up. And that shift, that pivot, in my perspective and then the actions I took, that changed everything.
After becoming a mother, my brand became driven, goal-oriented, ambitious. Well, let me just stop for a minute, because I've always been driven, but I never really had that intention aligned with the drivenness and the ambition. Let me go back to where I was. I also became accountable, right? I think I say that word every day and determined and let us not forget, still fun. But now there was a purpose attached to all of the things. There was a dual vision. And I want to pause there, because this is important. There is a narrative that was shared with me that I hear a lot, that once you become a mother, everything becomes about your children. And I remember a woman who was a parent. When I was talking about wanting to have kids, she said, you remember, when you have children, it should be you and your spouse, if you have one, against them. I was like, what? That has been some of the strongest advice I've ever received, meaning that I prioritize myself individually and then my husband and my union together, in alignment with how I prioritize my children. But they are going to leave at some point, right? So to that end, your identity should not center entirely around them, so much so that you sacrifice everything else. Now, that's not the model that I follow.
Motherhood expanded my purpose. It did not replace it. I am a mother, period, hard stop. And I'm also a business owner, a speaker, a leader and a whole person. And one of the greatest lessons that my mother taught me, which I strive to model for my children to this day, every day, is that you don't have to disappear inside of your motherhood. You evolve, you stretch, you carry more. Boy, boy, do you carry more. But you do not shrink. I tell my children all the time, it is important for me to have a business. It is important for me to travel. It is important for me to do work that excites and engages me. Not instead of being their mother, alongside being their mother. Because what I want them to see is what it looks like to live life fully.
Let me be real with you about something that actually forced this shift even further. When my son was an infant, he was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, which is a deadly childhood cancer. And during that time, I was also in a work environment that was not as supportive as I needed it to be. Understatement. Anyway, it was not aligned with what I needed, mentally or emotionally. And when you are navigating something like that as a parent, your tolerance changes. Here I have a sick child and then I'm going into a space and interacting with and around people that are not necessarily supportive of me and my trajectory. It made me perspective shift. I wouldn't even say shift, it changed. What you are not willing to put up with, it changes too.
That experience forced me to set my boundaries in a way that I had really never done strategically before. I was no longer willing to stay in spaces that did not support me, and I was definitely no longer willing to accept environments that did not align with the life I needed to live and the example that I needed to set for my children. That was a defining moment in my brand and as a mother and as a whole entire human being, because from that point forward, I got clearer, clearer about who I am, clearer about what I want and clearer about what I will and will not accept. And that clarity shows up in everything. It shows up in the work I take on, the rooms I walk into, the way that I lead, the way that I speak, the way that I encourage other people to step into their own truth as well. I mean, it's literally what I do for a living now.
And I think that that shift has to do with motherhood, because now everything I do as a mother and an entrepreneur is rooted in this question. What kind of world am I helping to create for my children? What am I modeling for them? What am I showing them as possible? Truthfully, motherhood made me more accountable to my own potential, not less. And I think that's the part we don't talk about enough. Motherhood did not make me less ambitious. I am ambitious with a capital A. It made me more intentional about my ambition. It didn't make me smaller. It made me sharper.
So if there's one thing I want you to take from this episode, it is this. Do not let any role in your life become the reason that you shrink. Let it be the reason that you get clearer. Let it be the reason that you get more intentional. Like I say intention in pretty much every podcast episode. Let it be the reason that you stand more firmly in who you are and your authenticity in all of the different roles that you have. Because the people who are watching you, whether they're your children, your colleagues, your community, they are learning from how you show up. Make sure you are showing them something worth building on.
You know, we just did a whole series on confidence. And I do think another shift is that being a mother made me more confident because I knew that I had to align what I was doing with who I was doing it for, in addition to myself. And so if you see me striding into a room, know that I'm striding into the room with an acknowledgement that my kids and also my peeps are watching me.
All right, y'all, this has been Paula signing off. Thank you for being here as always. And as always, a reminder to you, stand by your brand, stand by your brand. See you next time. Bye.
That's it for this episode. I appreciate you hanging out with me on Branding Room Only. Now, please do me a quick favor. Head over to ratethispodcast.com/branding, so more people can join this conversation. And make sure to stop by PaulaEdgar.com/events to see what's next. Whether I'm live online or in person, I'd love to see you there.
See you next time in the Branding Room and until then, stand tall, shine bright, and always stand by your brand.
