Paula Edgar: Welcome to Branding Room Only, the podcast where your personal brand gets a front row seat. I'm Paula Edgar, and if you're here, it's because you know your brand isn't just about what you do, it's about how people experience you. In each episode, you'll hear stories, strategies and lessons from leaders and influencers who built their brands and made their mark. And I'll share the tools you need to do the same. Let's go.
Hi, everybody, and welcome back to Branding Room Only. This is Paula Edgar and we are talking about confidence again. This is part three of our Confidence Factor series. Today, I want to talk about something that most people don't really think about, when they talk about confidence. We often think confidence is something that we build internally, but it's not something we should work on by ourselves, right? Confidence, well, I should say it's not something we only work on by ourselves. Confidence is personal, but it's also very relational. It's influenced by the people around you, the rooms you enter and the voices who you listen to. And sometimes the confidence grows faster when you borrow it before you fully build it. You know, as I've mentioned before, people ask me all the time, you know, how, do I get this confidence, et cetera? And part of it is that something comes naturally, but I've also built it. And I think experience and collaboration, et cetera, helps get you there.
But let me explain what I mean when I talk about borrowing it before you fully build it. There have been moments in my career, where someone introduced me in a way that made me sit up a little bit straighter, right? The way that they described my work sounded bigger than how I had been thinking about it. And often, sometimes I'm connecting dots between things I had done that I hadn't fully connected the dots for myself. You know, there were times when people would say something like, you know, you should really talk to Paula about personal branding strategy. She's incredible at helping people articulate their values. And yes, that's true, but in some of these times, earlier in my career, it was like, oh, they put together the what and the how of me in a way that I had not yet. And in those moments, I felt something interesting happen for me. I rose to the description, right? Not because it was exaggerated, but because someone had reflected back a clearer version of my value to me. And so that's what I mean about borrowed confidence.
Borrowed confidence happens when somebody sees your capability clearly and reinforces it. It's the mentor who tells you to apply for the role, sure you're ready for it. It's the colleague who says your name in a room when an opportunity comes up. It's the friend who sends you a message after a presentation and says, that was phenomenal. It's also the person who introduces you to someone and says, you two should know each other. Those moments matter more than we sometimes realize, right? Because confidence, it doesn't grow in isolation. It grows in community. It grows in environments where your value is recognized and reinforced. So let me be clear about something. Borrowed confidence is a boost, but it's not a substitute. You still have to do the work. You still need to be competent. You still need to prepare. But proximity can accelerate the process. The right environment will stretch you. The right people will normalize growth. And the right introductions will create momentum for you. And I have seen this play out in so many different ways.
I remember working with a professional who had incredible expertise but had spent most of their career in one organization. They were respected internally and they were doing meaningful work, but their professional network was very narrow, right? Because they had not expanded, they had not gone outside of the places they had been in regarding work. So when we started talking about their personal brand, they realized something, that they had never really put themselves in rooms, where their expertise could expand beyond the environment that they were in currently. So they didn't go to any industry conferences, they didn't really have broader professional communities and even internally, they didn't have visibility outside of their immediate team. And so the result, when those things happen is that when they stepped outside, they felt uncertain, right? Because they had not been fostering relationships in that way before. And that uncertainty, that kind of lack of confidence is not because they lacked skill, but it was because they lacked exposure or continued exposure. And for me, as I diagnosed it for them, it's a proximity issue.
Your confidence grows more when you're around people who are operating at the next level. You know how they say that you are going to be as successful as the people you keep around you? Listen, if confidence grows when you are with people who are operating at the next level, it's because you're around them, but you're not imitating them, right? And it's not that being around them will calibrate your nervous system, but it's that what had felt intimidating or could have felt intimidating becomes then more normal, because the striving and interacting and collaborating becomes a better part of how your brand is surfacing, right? It can help to build that confidence.
Another concept, and I've talked about before, here, on the podcast and a lot in person, is the personal board of directors, right? So when I've mentioned on the podcast before, it really resonated with a lot of folks. And it's essentially, it's a group of people who play different roles in your growth. And then they're your strategic advisors, they're your mentors, they're peers who are going to challenge you. There are sponsors who are going to advocate for you. And this part is really important. You're hype people, right? Who is going to hype you up when you need it? You need hype people. You need people who are going to celebrate your wins, people who are going to amplify your work and the people who are going to, again, send you a message when they see you do something great. They're going to comment on your LinkedIn post. And they're not sitting there comparing themselves to you. They are genuinely both, individually and collectively, rooting for your success. And these people, they matter, because confidence is reinforced, when somebody reminds you of your strength in moments, when you might forget it or not connect the dots the way that they may from a sort of helicopter view. People are the ones who are going to say, I saw that post, that was powerful. I heard you speak, you were excellent, or you should absolutely apply for that and you belong in these rooms.
And sometimes and I would say most times, those reminders arrive exactly when you need them, right? Because even the most accomplished professionals have moments where they question themselves, right? And that's not just imposter syndrome. It's thinking about the world surrounding us, thinking about all the things that we have to do and then wanting to still have a growth mindset, right? So even the most experienced leaders will step into new rooms. And even people who speak on stages all the time are still going to try to stretch themselves and be better and different. And so confidence is not about never needing reinforcement. It's about building an ecosystem that supports your growth. And here's the other side of this. Your personal board of directors should not just support you, obviously. You should also be supporting them too. Confidence grows in reciprocal relationships. When you celebrate somebody else's success, you normalize success amongst your group. When you amplify somebody else's voice, you practice the advocacy that you also want to see. And it's not transactional, but it is reciprocal. When you introduce two people who should know each other, you strengthen all of your networks. And that energy tends to come back around.
Another thing that proximity does is it expands your imagination. If you're constantly surrounded yourself by people who play small, then you will start to believe that small is the ceiling for your ability, your opportunity. And if you are surrounded by people who stretch themselves, challenge themselves, and pursue meaningful opportunities, then you begin to see more possibilities. And it doesn't mean that you're copying somebody else's path, but it does mean your sense of what is possible tends to expand and your confidence grows when possibility expands. This is also where personal branding intersects with proximity. Because when your personal brand is clear, people know how to position you. They know how to introduce you. They know what opportunities to connect you to. However, if your brand is unclear, even the people who want to support you might struggle to advocate for you effectively. So your clarity gives other people the language. Your positioning gives other people the direction. And that's when borrowed confidence becomes powerful.
So here's a question that I want you to think about this week. Again, who is on your personal board of directors? Who challenges you? Who advocates you? Who introduces you in rooms that matter? And of course, who are your hype people? Because building confidence is not just about mindset. It's also about the environment. And sometimes the fastest way to strengthen your confidence is to spend time with people who already see your potential clearly.
So with that, you have your homework for the week. I'll see you next time in the next episode of the Confidence Factor Series. Until then, you're gonna stand by your brand. And in fact, you're gonna confidently stand by your brand. And I'll see you next time in the Branding Room. Bye all.
That's it for this episode. I appreciate you hanging out with me on Branding Room Only. Now, please do me a quick favor. Head over to ratethispodcast.com/branding, so more people can join this conversation. And make sure to stop by paulaedgar.com/events to see what's next. Whether I'm live online or in person, I'd love to see you there. See you next time in the Branding Room. And until then, stand tall, shine bright and always stand by your brand.
